Crawling Back
by yikkety
Summary: Rory finds herself in Philadelphia on the campaign trail. She knows Jess is close, but doesn't know what to do about it. Will be Literati eventually
1. Chapter 1

Rory's mind wandered as she listened to the speech drone on. After almost a year on the campaign trail her interest in listening to the same people talk about the same stuff everyday was starting to wane. Her boredom was starting to show in her writing. She looked at all the people around her, many of the faces were familiar, people who like her were covering the Obama campaign like her. Others were from local news outlets, here to cover the rally in Independence Park. As she looked around she saw a face that was vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place him, he must be a local reporter. But she only knew one person in this city.

On any other day she would have considered meeting some of the local journalists, and trying to get her foot in the door at a local paper, she had in at a couple of recent stops. But not today, not here, because she was in Philadelphia and HE lived in Philadelphia. She had no interest in getting a job here.

The speeches ended and Rory started to make her way to the exit, eager to be done with this day, when she noticed the familiar stranger form earlier heading towards her, "oh God", she groaned. She knew she had been staring, but only because she was trying to place him, not because she was in any way looking for a journalist to journalist hook up disguised as comparing notes. The log jam of people in front of her made it impossible for her to get away. She steeled herself for the bad pick up line that she was sure was coming. He held out his hand to her, "Matt Myers" he said as she shook his hand, still trying to place him, "Rory Gilmore," she mumbled back as she finally saw the media outlet he worked for. They both gasped as equal looks of terror and embarrassment crossed their faces. They both turned and quickly walked away in opposite directions.

Matt walked quickly down the street trying to figure out what to tell his friend and business partner about the rally, his _Truncheon e-zine _credentials blowing in the breeze.


	2. Chapter 2

Rory paced back and forth in her hotel room, her write up of the rally completely forgotten. They were here for three days. What was she going to do for three days? He was going to find out she was here. She had to avoid him. She wanted to see him, she really did. But it wasn't fair to him. He didn't deserve what she had done to him, she told him as much during that horrible conversation last time she was here. The memory of that night still burned in her mind.

_"I thought everything was fixed."_

_ "Everything but him."_

_ "I love him Jess."_

_ "Love, huh?"_ She had seen it then, the pain in his eyes when she told him the truth. He was still in love with her and she had crushed him.

The irony of the situation was that she didn't love Logan as much as she had once thought. She had realized over the last few months, even had she known where her life was headed when he proposed she still would have said no.

She spent a lot of time on that bus alone, with hours to think about her mistakes and the choices she had made. She had tons of time to think about things like; is this the life she wanted, did she even want to get married, did she want kids? The only conclusion she had come to was that she hated being alone, and that's what she was, sole-crushingly alone.

She talked to Lorelai everyday on the phone, but it wasn't the same as having her around. Paris and Lane were both busy with medical school and raising twins, respectively, and she didn't get to talk to them much. She hadn't made any friends on the campaign, none of the other journalists on the bus seemed interested in friendship, the most she ever got was a smile and nod or a "good morning." She wanted someone to talk to, not just about work, but also to banter with about books and movies and music, all the things she loved.

There was only one person she had ever been able to do that with. But he was gone, at least to her. She needed to forget about him. They needed to move on, she hoped he already had. It was better if she ignored him, for both of them , out of sight out of mind, right?

Matt was doing his best to concentrate on writing about the speeches from earlier in the day, and not about his encounter later on. Chris was making that extremely hard though,

"I'm so jealous, there are always tons of lonely journo girls at those things, just waiting for a little company for the night." Jess overheard Chris's statement and moved to organize a more distant shelf as he rolled his eyes.

"Shut up," Matt groaned as she sat at his laptop, the document in front of him still blank.

"Seriously though, was there anyone there you wanted to –"

"Enough!" Matt cut him off, slamming his laptop shut.

"Jeez, man, what's got your boxers in a bunch?"

"I'm trying to write so we can publish this thing and you keep asking asinine questions." Matt had raised his voice enough to catch the attention of the couple customers that were milling around the store. Jess walked over trying to save them for losing a few possible sales, asking if the customers needing anything and assuring them that they could ask _him_ if they needed any help. He then went over to his business partners and loudly whispered, "I'd like to continue eating on a regular basis, so if you two don't mind taking this little lover's spat into the office and away from _paying _customers I'd really appreciate it." With that Jess walked back over to one of the women in the store and tried to recommend a book for her.

The other two men made their way into the office, Chris could tell there was something on Matt's mind, and he wanted to know what. He didn't have to wait long he realized as Matt made sure the door was closed so they wouldn't be overheard.

"Dude, what gives?" Chris asked when Matt turned back around.

"She was there."

"Who, who was where?"

"At the rally. She was there, Rory."

"Who?"

"Rory Gilmore," the door had opened but neither noticed, Chris was trying to wrap his head around who Matt was talking about, and Matt was only concerned with making him understand, "his Rory."

The sound of Jess's hand punching the office door jamb made both men turn. Before they could say anything to him, he turned quickly and left the book store, the door closing loudly behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N So I had all this written a while ago, through ch. 5 and accidentally deleted it, my plan was to upload on Friday. I will try to do every Friday until this story is done, which could be a long time as I am not really sure of the ultimate end yet. To all of you who are reviewing and following thank you so, so much, I never truly realized how much that helps and because of it have started reviewing the stories I read. I also wanted to let everyone know that I will try to make a Polyvore set to go along with all of Rory's outfits, because I love Polyvore, the outfit for this chapter is up, my name on there is yikkety just like here. Thanks **

**I do not own Gilmore Girls**

He was wandering aimlessly around the city, the questions rolling in his head like a hurricane about to make landfall. _Rory was here? In Philly? What was she doing here? Would she come see him? Should he try to contact her?_ He remembered the last time she was here. She came to see him at his open house. She was standing there in front of him, looking beautiful, talking happily about her life. Then he had kissed her. Everything had felt right. She was kissing him back, they were kissing. He was still in love with her, and he thought "this is it, she loves me too."

But she didn't, she was still in love with the Porsche douche. It would have hurt less, he decided in the weeks following, if she had just done it and left, but the fact that she had apologized and looked so sad afterwards, that was what hurt him. If she had just used him and let him go, he could have just hated her and moved on. But she cared and he could tell. He knew her well enough to know she still wasn't completely herself that day. He knew it was because of that guy. That's why he couldn't just hate her and move on.

He still kept in touch with his uncle, and because Luke didn't know about what happened at the open house, at least he assumed Rory hadn't said anything; he still talked about her sometimes. So Jess knew that she was no longer with Huntzberger, and the proposal and he knew she was covering the Obama campaign, so he should have known she was here.

He had a decision to make, he could go back to work and pretend like nothing had happened, the guys were smart enough no to press him. He would go back to his life just as it had been or he could contact her, and they could talk. Talking could go very badly, communication was never the best between them. That was the decision that kept him walking around the city, confused and a little scared. He didn't know what he should do, so he kept walking.

The next morning Rory stepped out of the shower, dreading the day ahead of her. Last night she had fought to keep Jess off her mind long enough to write her article. Her sleep was restless and filled with images of him in Truncheon and the night he came to Yale; the only two times she had ever seen him look truly sad. She pulled on a soft pink light sweater and light brown pants, todays event didn't call for a skirt, and for that she was thankful as she pulled on brown ankle boots to complete the outfit. She was gathering her things when her hotel room phone rang. "Hello" she breathed into the receiver, while packing her tape recorder and notepads into the satchel she carried for work.

"Miss Gilmore, you have a phone call, is it okay if I transfer it?" said a cheery female voice she recognized as the desk clerk.

"Sure" she said. She was confused, who could possibly be calling her room and not her cell phone.

She heard the line click over, "Rory?" she sucked in a huge breath when she heard the voice on the other end of the phone.

"Jess" her voice was barely above a whisper. "How did you," she trailed off. She didn't know which of her questions to ask first.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N I do not own Gilmore Girls**

PREVIOUSLY:

"_Rory?" she sucked in a huge breath when she heard the voice on the other end of the phone._

"_Jess,' her voice was barely above a whisper. "How did you" she trailed off, she didn't know which question to ask first_

AND NOW:

"I heard you were in town,' he provided when she clammed up, " I didn't know your cell number, but I knew there were only a few hotels that were cheap enough without being skeazy that were close enough to your event. I was lucky enough that you were in the first one I called."

"Oh," she was still barely audible. Her shock was evident in those two little letters.

So Jess continued with his planned conversation. "So, yeah, I was wondering, if you're not too busy, if you wouldn't mind getting together for coffee, you still like coffee right, and we could, wow, I'm rambling, this is a role reversal huh?" He chuckled softly before taking a deep breath and getting his point out. "I thought we could talk."

"Uhh," she was still too shocked to form a complete thought. What was going on, she thought he would hate her, he should hate her, and now he wanted to meet her and talk? She didn't know what to do.

"Rory," his voice broke her out of her thoughts, "it's been almost two years since I've talked to you, I just want to talk."

"O-okay," she stammered. "I have to go downtown this morning, Joe Biden is speaking, and then I have to do my article. Maybe this evening, if you don't like have a date or something." She stopped, now she was rambling, and getting dangerously close to a cliff she didn't want to fall off.

"Nope, I'm free; I can leave the store around 4, that way I don't run the risk of ruining your dinner plans. There's a little coffee shop next to your hotel, does that work?"

"Yeah, I know where it is, I'll see you at 4, I guess."

"See you at 4, bye Rory."

"Bye, Jess.

It was going to be a long day they both realized, as they ended the call and tried to get to 4 o'clock.

She walked into the small coffee shop at 3:50, hoping to get some caffeine in her system before Jess showed up. She made her way through the line and found a table facing the door just as Jess walked in.

"Hey," he said walking over to the table.

"Are you getting anything?" She asked picking up her cup and taking a long drink.

"Yeah, I just wanted to come say hi first. I thought it would be awkward to just get in line and ignore you."

She nodded as he walked away She noticed how much his body had changed over the last couple of years. He had gotten bulkier, but in a good way, his old _Clash_ t-shirt clung to his slightly muscular arms. His hair was back to the way it was when they had first met, shorter than last tiome and perfectly tousled. He walked with more confidence.

She must have been staring because when he turned back toward her, drink in hand, he smirked. "See something you like?" he asked. She blushed.

"I was just noticing how much you have changed. You're a lot more confident. It suits you."

"Thanks. You haven't changed at all." He told her noticing how the sparkle in her blue eyes still tugged at his heart. When he noticed the uncomfortable look on her face he added, "Looks wise I mean."

They drank their coffee in silence after that, and not a comfortable one like they were used to. This one was pregnant with unasked questions and awkward history. "So, how's the writing going?" He finally asked when he thought his head would explode if one of them didn't say something.

"Umm, okay, I guess. It's kinda boring, writing the same thing all the time, you know?"

"Sure, I can see that. But you're writing for a living which is what you always wanted right? I'm sure Christiane Amenpour started somewhere boring too.

"Yeah, well, the point of taking the job was to get real world experience, now I'd like to have a job where I don't live out of a suitcase and have my mail sent to my mom in Stars Hollow."

"Closets are nice," he joked.

"And a bookshelf, I would kill to be able to have all my books with me. Do you know how much it sucks to only be able to have a few with me at a time?"

"Not really, I run a book store."

Rory giggled. "Good point. How's that going, by the way?"

"Pretty well. We do events pretty regularly. A lot of our money comes from the books we publish though."

Rory looked at him amused and urged him to go on. " I got my own place, so that's nice. It's small, but it does have a closet, and a bookshelf," he told her with a sly smile.

"Sounds amazing."

"You should come over while you're in town, I could loan you some books. When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow afternoon. Jess.." She trailed off.

"Hmm."

"Oh, nothing." She had changed her mind about asking him why he was being so nice to her. "I should get going, my room is a mess and I need to get packed up to leave. She stood up to leave. "It was nice seeing you, Jess."

As she moved to leave he stopped her. "Hey, wait, let me give you my number, in case you ever want to talk, or have me describe what it's like to have a bookshelf or something." He handed her a napkin with a phone number on it.

"Thanks."

"No problem, it was good seeing you too. Bye Rory."

"Bye, Jess."

**A/N sorry this chapter is really dialogue heavy, but I feel like the two of them have a lot of talking to do before anything can really happen. Never fear Literati will happen…eventually. Thanks for reading.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N So I didn't get a great response from my last chapter, I wasn't a huge fan of it either. This one is on the same level, sorry, but it needs to be done. I promise Lit happens, soon, I have already written the next chapter, there is Lit. so please just bear with me for this long conversation and then sparks will fly.**

**I do not own Gilmore Girls**

Rory called Lorelai when she got back to her room.

"My darling daughter, how are you?"

"Confused," was Rory's reply.

"I mean I know it's been a while but this is Mommy. You know tall, dark hair, gorgeous, ravishing creature?'

"Ha-ha." Rory replied though she was anything but amused

"Okay we won't add witty to that list. What's wrong, Sweets?"

"You can't guess based on where I am?"

"Where are you, in your hotel room? Did you end up in the wrong room, is that why you are confused?'

"The city, Mom, I'm in Philadelphia."

"What's in Phi-Oh." After her mom's realization Rory heard things falling on the phone. "Sorry Luke's here, so I changed rooms."

"Working on wedding plans?"

"There isn't much to plan we're going small and easy this time. But that's not what we're going to talk about."

Rory groaned, she was hoping her Mom would take the subject change, she didn't know why she had brought it up in the first place. "It's not?" Rory questioned innocently.

"Nope. We are going to talk about what's in, or rather _who_ is in Philadelphia."

"There are lots of people in Philadelphia."

"Yeah," Lorelai changed from sweet to serious, "but I only want to talk about one; Jess."

"We had coffee today."

"Really? So why the confusion?'

"Because it was okay, nice even."

"You wanted it to be awful?"

"No. I just thought it would be," she hesitated before adding, "after last time." There was a long pause, Rory thought her mom would say something and when she didn't Rory told her the story of the open house and the last time she was in Philadelphia. She was in tears by the time she got to the end. "I just thought he would hate me and never want to see me again. But he was just so nice and he gave me his number. I'm just so confused."

"Oh, Hun." Lorelai sighed.

"What should I do, Mom?"

"I can't tell you how to handle this, Babe, it's gotta be your decision. But really, trying to get back at Logan by going to Jess was pretty terrible to Jess. Wow, I never thought I would feel bad for him, but, wow."

"Exactly, what I did was beyond awful, and yet he is being super nice. I feel like there has to be a reason. Maybe he is just waiting for the perfect time to embarrass me or something."

"I really don't know Jess amazingly well, or like him very much, but I don't think he would do that to you, and not just because he fears the wrath of Luke if he did."

"Then what's he doing?" The more Rory talked about it the less she could figure out Jess's motive.

"Being friendly?"

"But why? I don't deserve it." The tears started to well back up in her eyes.

"Maybe he's returning the favor. Hey, Hun, I gotta go. Luke is starting to get restless watching _Willy Wonka_ all by himself."

"Okay, thanks for not saying anything to him."

"No problem. Get some sleep and call me tomorrow."

"I love you, Mom, goodnight."

"Night, Rory, I love you too."

Rory hung up the phone and pondered what her mom had said about Jess's friendliness, "_returning the favor_" she had said. She couldn't figure out what that meant, what favor was he returning? She was still troubled by that thought as she began to pack up her room so she was ready to leave tomorrow. As she lay down in bed it occurred to her. All those years ago when jess had showed up in Stars Hollow, Rory was really the only one who gave him a chance, other than Luke, and even when he did things to prove that lack of trust right, she still gave him chances and remained his friend. Now he was giving her the same chance she had given him. She decided that she needed to see him again, they could be friends. The thought excited her. She considered calling him tonight, but it was getting late and she was tired. She decided she would go to Truncheon in the morning before her bus left, she needed to make things right.

**A/N This is my first attempt at writing Lorelai, I hope I did okay, she is a very dynamic charectar and pretty fun to write, but not my main goal in the story.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N I promised Lit. and I have delivered it up for you to enjoy with all you Thanksgiving leftovers. Enjoy!**

**I do not own Gilmore Girls**

The prospect of spending the day traveling in her work clothes annoyed Rory, but the way they had scheduled today only put them in Harrisburg forty minutes before the event they were covering tonight and there wouldn't be enough time for her to change. To top it off she needed to do laundry and the only appropriate outfit she had was a black top that she paired with a tartan pencil skirt and grey heels. She made sure that all of her things were packed and on her bed, ready to go, so she would be ready to get on the bus after her trip this morning.

Truncheon was far enough away that she took a cab which she was thankful for when it started to lightly rain as she pulled up outside the small store. She took a deep breath before opening the door and walking in. The store was all but deserted and a man, presumably an employee, made his way toward her. As he came closer she realized it was Matt. "Can I- oh it's you," Matt greeted her.

"Hi. I uh, I'm here to see,"

"Jess?" Rory nodded. "He's in the office, door should be unlocked." He said and turned to go back to what he was doing when she walked in.

She walked tentatively toward the partially closed office door. She was fighting the urge to turn and run, she probably would have had Matt not already seen her. She knocked softly and bent her head in the opening. "Hey" she said as Jess looked up from the laptop he had been typing on.

"Rory, I wasn't expecting you," he said as he closed the laptop.

"I know, sorry. You're not too busy are you? I can go if you are."

Jess chuckled as he got up from the chair, "now that would be a wasted trip. So, you come here for any specific reason or would you like a tour?"

"Tour sounds good," replied Rory.

"You're awfully dressed up for a tour of Truncheon." Jess noted with a question on his face.

"I have to leave in like two hours, and we will be getting to our next destination kid of late, so I just wanted to be prepared."

"Well you look nice," Jess said as they made their way out into the store proper. Jess showed her around the small store before they made their way back into the office. "I know it's not much but we make enough to live off of."

"No, Jess it's you and you look so perfect here." The smile she gave him after that was like a lightning bolt to his heart, and before he knew what he was doing, he leaned in and kissed her. Her initial shock wore off pretty quickly and she was kissing him back. They continued kissing for a while and before long Rory's back was pressed into the wall and Jess's hands were exploring her body. He was encouraged by the soft moans that were escaping her and the way her hands were locked in his hair. As his hand made its way slowly up her skirt, on the outside of her thigh she pulled away with a gasp.

"Rory, I'm so sorry, I got carried aw-"

"I have to go," she cut him off.

"Rory, please, can we just talk about this?" He pleaded with her.

"I have to go," she said more sternly, "I'll call you." She said as she backed out of the office and walked quickly to the door.

Rory sat on the bus, her mind racing. What had she done? She had gone there to talk to Jess but spent more time with his tongue in her mouth than actually talking. She would be lying if she said she hadn't enjoyed it. It had been a long time since her and Logan were last together and she hadn't been with anyone since. Jess had always elicited feelings deep in her stomach whenever he was around, and that combined with her almost year hiatus from anything sex related had been a dangerous combination, one that had her teetering on the edge of sanity. She had told him she would call him, a much safer option, since his lips would be miles away and in no danger of making her weak.

She groaned and flopped back against her seat. At least she had a long ride ahead of her so she could think. All thinking about it did was make her want to yell and hide in her room for a few days until someone told her what to do. Most of the other reporters on the bus were sleeping, which she wished she could do too, since she slept so terribly the night before, but between the clothes she was wearing and the things tracing around in her mind she knew there was no way she was going to be able to. So she just sat and looked out the window at the Pennsylvania highway, hoping the answers she was looking for were suddenly spelled pout for her.

As dusk settled in on them the bus pulled to a stop in front of the hotel and attached convention center they would be at for the night. This was one of the more annoying parts of the job; checking into the hotel. Everyone got off the bus at the same time and tried to get checked in as fast as possible. Usually there were never more than two or three people working so it took and long time and people got impatient and crabby. So Rory usually sat and read for a few minutes and waited for the crowd to die down, which is why today she had to travel in her work clothes. They only had about an hour until the rally started and she hated being one of the last ones to arrive because she had to stand the whole time After getting her room assignment and dropping her stuff of she went on a quick search for a vending machine to fortify herself with sugar and coffee for the rally that was sure to be long and boring.

**So I hope you enjoyed this first little bit of Literati teaser. I have already written the next two chapters, and as much as I plan on HEA for these two, they have long road and a lot of history to overcome, be warned (she disappears into a dark corner with a sinister smile. ;))**


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own Gilmore Girls**

Rory yawned as she got on to the elevator with several other reporters. Because the rally was late in the day her story wasn't due until tomorrow. Then they would spend most of the day on the bus traveling to the Midwest for a rally the next afternoon. She decided her best option was to write the story tonight, since there wasn't much new to report from this stop than the last. Then she could hopefully fall asleep quickly and sleep later in the morning and spend her time ion the bus relaxing.

After completing her story she realized it was still early enough to have a pizza delivered. She got a weird look from the night desk clerk when she went down to pick it up and pay for it, but she didn't feel like explaining her eating habits to him.. She snuggled down into her bed with the pizza on her lap and turned on the TV. She flipped through the channels a couple of times and growled when she found nothing worth watching. She decided she should call her mom and leaned over to grab her bag from the floor beside the bed. The strap caught on the bedside table as she hauled it up and when she yanked on it to try and free it a few items spewed across the bed. "Crap," she huffed as she picked up the pack of gum, assorted receipts and other miscellaneous things. Before she could shove it all back in the bag she saw the napkin with Jess's number on it. Instead of overthinking and analyzing, like she usually would, she just pulled out her phone and dialed. He answered after the second ring. "That was quick; I didn't expect to hear from you for a couple of days."

"Wait, what? How'd you know it was me?"

"The only people I know with a Connecticut area code are, Luke, my Mom and you. Luke and Liz are already programmed into the phone."

"Oh." She said somewhat defeated that she couldn't surprise him. The something occurred to her, "you know my mom, and she has a Connecticut area code."

"Why would Lorelai call me?"

"Why does she do anything? She's Lorelai."

"Good point, enough about your crazy mother though, I'm glad you called."

"I told you I would."

"I know, but it seemed like you just said that so I would let you go. I _am_ sorry by the way, if I upset you, I didn't mean for any of that to happen. It just kind of did.

"It's okay you said it yourself _'it is what it is' _right?" Just saying those words deflated Rory a little. She was happy that her and Jess were on good terms again, just how good she wasn't sure, and being reminded of that day wasn't going to help either one of them move on.

Jess had been watching a movie when d=she called and now he was pacing his apartment, cursing the nicotine patch on his upper arm. "Is that really what you think?" He asked, his voice sounding bitterer than he had intended.

"Think about what? I can't figure us out anymore. We don't speak for almost two years then we have an awkward conversation over coffee, followed the next day by a pretty epic make-out session."

"Pretty epic?" He said hopefully as some of the happiness he felt when she called started to seep back in again.

"So not the point, Jess," her frustration becoming evident in her voice.

"Then what is the point, Rory?" he was irritated that he couldn't get a read on her. He had always known her so well and now he couldn't figure her out from one minute to the next, "or is there a point at all? Why _did_ you call me?"

"I honestly have no idea."

"Clearly," he yelled "Call me back when you figure it out." That had not gone how he planned. After he hung up the phone he couldn't really figure out what had made him so angry. Except that it was Rory and she always had this effect on him. She had the unique ability to play with his heart and not even realize what she was doing. He knew she hadn't meant to upset him when she made the comment, but being reminded of that night in such a flippant way irked him more than he understood why. That was a lie and he knew it. He knew why it upset him; he just wasn't ready to admit it to himself.

Rory tossed her phone back in her bag, not completely sure of what had just happened. She threw the rest of her pizza away; her appetite gone, turned off the TV and crawled under the blankets, hoping sleep would overtake her quickly. It didn't.

She tossed and turned for hours before giving up on sleep entirely and taking a shower. After she had dressed she went down to the vending machines for a cup of crappy coffee and a bad muffin. She was going stir crazy, it was only 5:20 in the morning and they wouldn't be leaving until 9. She sat on her bed contemplating what to do. It had been less than 24 hours ago that she was making out with Jess and now they were back in this awkward holding pattern again. She thought about maybe calling him and trying to smooth things over, she knew why she had called him yesterday, she could start with that. She had wanted to talk about a possible friendship with him; she needed someone in her life to challenge her intellectually. She wanted to know what it was that she needed to do so they could try friendship again. But it was still before 6 in the morning and she knew he wouldn't be awake or appreciate being woken up by her call. The last thing she wanted was to make him mad just by calling. She pulled out her phone to send him a text, that way she could talk to him, say what she needed to say, and let him respond when he was ready.

R: Sorry about last night.

I was tired.

I do know why I called.

She put her phone back in her bag and decided to veg out in front of the TV until it was time to leave.

She had been staring out the bus window since she got on forty-five minutes ago, when her phone buzzed, signaling a text message.

Why, it was Jess's reply.

R: To talk, Rory responded, glad to have a distraction from the bleak countryside outside her window.

R: About us.

J: Us?

R: Yeah

J: What us?

R: What do you mean what us? Do you not remember yesterday?

J: Vividly

R: So shouldn't we talk about it?

Rory was starting to get annoyed with how non-committal he was being, but she tried to stay calm. This is how Jess was sometimes. He was all about avoiding uncomfortable things.

J: What's there to talk about? We've had this conversation before; we had it last night actually. You were pretty clear about how you feel.

R: I was? I barely said anything.

J: Trust me; you said exactly what you needed to say.

Jess was done with this conversation, Rory had told him last night that the crazy make out session they had in his office the other day pretty much meant nothing to her, with her off handed '_it is what it is'_ comment. He had said that to make her feel better about the cheating thing, even though it was killing him inside to know that she was using him. But she had been in a bad place at the time and that kiss had given him a glimmer of hope. Seeing her the day before yesterday had been great. Rory was back, his Rory. She hated her job, but what young adult didn't hate their first job? He had hated the three he was working at when he first arrived in Philadelphia, but his break had come and hers would too. He hadn't expected her to come back yesterday and express her undying love to him that was his thing after all. But when she had showed up unannounced at Truncheon again, he had gone for it. She seemed like she had been all in too, when she left abruptly he was flustered but not upset, he knew she had to get back on the road. She had called last night and that was when it had all gone wrong. Except that maybe it hadn't and he was just overblowing and innocent comment. He decided he needed to step back from the situation, take a day and figure out why such a small comment had made him so angry and confused.

J: I need to get back to work; I'll talk to you later.

He hadn't meant for the reply to sound so curt, but that's how Rory took it, not being able to get inside his head and see the thought process behind it. She didn't bother responding, just put her phone away and took out a book, preparing for another long, lonely bus ride.

**A/N So when I originally sat down to write this chapter, I intended on having the texts just be fluffy, flirty book banter. Clearly that is not what happened, but I feel like this is what was supposed to happen, they have both hurt each other a lot and have never really dealt with those issues as adults.**


	8. Getting Clobbered by the Other Shoe

**I do not own Gilmore Girls**

**A/N I wrote this chapter at the same time as ch7, so the emotions from it were still fresh when I got here. I know it's kind of shorter, but it's pretty intense and I felt like it needed to stand on it own.  
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It was almost dinner time when the bus pulled into the hotel. A few of the reporter's had decided to go to the Denny's across the street. She wasn't in the mood to socialize though, she wasn't even hungry. Instead she checked into her room and flopped down onto her bed as he phone began to ring. The call was from Jess, she thought about not answering it, she didn't have the energy to have it out with him again. Against her better judgment she pressed the green button on her phone and accepted the call, "Hello, "she said hesitantly. The question evident in her voice, but left unsaid, _did you just call to yell at me again?_

"Hey, did you make it in one piece?" Jess's cheerful tone threw her off.

"Um, yeah." She was being purposely evasive, hoping to bait him into admitting what was going on.

He wasn't easily swayed. "That's good, long hours on a bus sucks, I've been there." He regretted the words before they were even out of his mouth.

Rory was already on edge and at those words something inside of her just snapped. "Believe me I don't need to be reminded."

"Rory, I'm-"

"NO!" She cut him off. "It's my turn to talk. You don't get to just gloss over leaving me like it was just some small oversight. It sucked, Jess. We had a fight and then the next morning you were on my bus. I should have realized something was up, because there was no reason for you to be on a bus to Hartford. And you just sat there, knowing where you were going, and said nothing, except about not being able to take me to prom. Nothing about running to California to escape your problems, nothing about flunking out or getting kicked out of Luke's or anything about what was going on with you. I _loved_ you Jess, I did and I could have helped you, but you were to damn stubborn to admit you needed it. You said you'd call me. I never should have believed you; you never called when you said you would. You were a sucky, sucky boyfriend." Rory stopped but Jess knew she wasn't done. This was a classic Gilmore rant, and there were oxygen breaks during a Gilmore rant. "And what happened when I finally started to get over you? You show up out of the blue and tell me you love me, and then just leave, before I had a chance to say anything." He wanted to interject and ask what she would have said, his irritation growing the more she berated him, but she didn't give him a chance. "Then you show up at Yale and try to get me to run away with you. You weren't even willing to listen to reason. Did you really think I was going to throw everything I had worked for away to run off with my ex-boyfriend and wait tables for the rest of my life?"

It was a rhetorical question and he knew it. But he had grown tired of listening to her point out all of his shortcomings while ignoring all of hers. "What about you, Rory?"

"Excuse me?" She wasn't done with her rant, but now she was too mad too think about the next thing she wanted to say.

"Oh, I'm sorry I forgot I was talking to the infallible Rory Gilmore. May the citizens of Stars Hollow string me up and whip me in the square for calling out their perfect little princess." Rory's jaw dropped and she was still too shocked to respond before Jess continued. "You take some of the blame here too. You came to see me in New York, skipped school to do it even. I thought it meant something, so I came back. I was right, as soon as you found out I was living back in Stars Hollow you kissed me."

"We've had this fight." Rory shot in.

"I'm not done, I let you have your rant, and now let me have mine. You left for an entire summer without so much as a phone call and then gat all pissy when you come back and I have a girlfriend, even though, through all of this, you were still with Dean. Yes I did some crappy things, but I never did anything to intentionally hurt you. But You, coming here to cheat on your boyfriend, which seems to be a trend for you by the way, you made me think you were done with that guy and I kissed you and…"

"There it is." She cut him off.

"What?" Jess practically spat, he didn't know that he still held so much anger about this.

"I knew that there must be a reason you were being nice, you were just luring me in, making me think you had forgiven me; then bam! You throw my mistakes back in my face. You know what Jess that's low. I said I was sorry, I still am. I'm sorry for it all." Then the dam holding in her emotions, and her tears, broke. "I'm sorry for Dean and Logan. I'm sorry for leading you on. I'm sorry for never trusting you. I'm sorry that for some reason I am so drawn to you that I kiss you when I have a boyfriend. I'm sorry I never told you I loved you. I'm sorry that I told you the reason I wouldn't leave Yale was because I didn't want to be with you. I'm sorry that I lost my virginity to dean and not you. I'm sorry that I didn't go upstairs with you back when I came to Truncheon. I'm sorry I never told Logan that I cheated on him. I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything, and I'm sorry that that's not good enough for you Jess." She ended the call and rolled over in her bed in a fit of tears. All the years that she had known Jess, that they had never been honest with each other, seemed to be at the surface right now. Seven years of tears and heartache were coming out in the lonely hotel room. She continued to cry as her phone rang again. She ignored it, even if it wasn't Jess; she wasn't in the mood to talk. Her phone rang three more times before she finally cried herself to sleep.

**I hope you enjoyed World War III- Literati style! **


	9. Mommy Knows Best

**A/N I just want to say that getting notifications about new follows and favorites is super exciting and makes me really happy. Everyone has been really supportive and I really appreciate it, especially Scarlet3086. This chapter is much more in Rory and Jess's thoughts more than any others and the prespective switches back and forth so I hope it isn't too confusing.**

**I do not own Gilmore Girls**

The first light of morning pouring in the window caused Rory to stir. She forgot where she was for a minute, the unfamiliar bed still made below her confused her, as did the fact that she was still dressed, shoes and all. When she saw the small blinking light on her phone, signaling a voice mail, where she was and the events of the previous night became clear. She groaned as she looked through her phone there were four missed calls form Jess, three from her mom and one form her boss. Not knowing who the voice mail was from made her hesitate, she didn't want to listen to Jess yell at her again; but it could be something funny about home from her mom, and she needed that right now. It could also be work related, since she had a call from Hugo, which is why she dialed the number and entered her password.

"Hello, Rory. It's Hugo. I was just taking a look at your last story and I wanted to talk to you about it. Give me a call ASAP please." That was cryptic and worrisome, she thought as she made her way to the shower. She would have to wait to call him back until after today's rally.

The first thing Jess was aware of was how cold it was in his room. April could be a tricky time of year in the eastern US, warm enough to have the windows open during the day but cold enough for the heater at night. He must have left the window open last night, he thought, as he stumbled to the window to close it, desperate to get back in bed because his head was pounding. On his way he noticed the mostly empty bottle of Jack on the bedside table and memories of last night hit him hard.

Rory had hung up on him after their yelling match. She had been much more upset than he had expected. He was more upset than he thought; if he was being honest. She had just started to go off on him and he lost it. He had never intended to make her cry, he knew he had though, he knew the exact moment she had begun to cry; he could hear it in her voice. As her tears started to flow her voice changed from angry to sad, and she had begun to apologize, for so many things, that he barely thought about anymore, but she obviously did. Realizing that, he felt worse. All he wanted to calm him was a cigarette, but that would derail the last six months of stupid patches and avoiding certain bars trying to kick his habit. He needed to do something to numb himself though, and remembered the bottle of Jack above his refrigerator, and grabbed it, not even bothering with a glass.

Sitting on his bed after taking a long drink of the dark liquor, he decided to call Rory again. She didn't answer and he wasn't surprised. He thought about leaving her a voicemail, but he wasn't sure of what to say yet. So he just continued to drink. Half the bottle was gone when he called her the third time, he was pretty drunk by that point and probably shouldn't be calling her at all. He decided what he wanted to say just as he hung up the phone. He hung up quickly and dialed again ready to tell her the words that had been on the tip of his tongue for the last twenty minutes, but as soon as he heard the "Hi, This is Rory Gilmore" from her voicemail, he hung up and threw his phone against the wall. He lay down on the bed and began to think about the last time he was this torn up over Rory, and passed out quickly.

Rory called her boss as soon as she got out of the rally. "It's good to hear from you so quickly, Rory, I was afraid my message would scare you and you would avoid calling me back."

She breathed a sigh of relief hearing the unconcerned tone in his voice. "I was considering it. So what do I owe the pleasure of chatting with you to?"

"Well, we aren't really just going to chat," he said slowly. He liked Rory as a person and a journalist. This wasn't a conversation he wanted to have with her. "I've been reviewing you last few articles, and I have to say, they are not up to your usual standard."

Rory was shocked hearing this. It was hard to cover the same person, talking about the same things day in and day out and keep things interesting, but she had been trying to add interesting bits in. "Oh, I'm sorry, I'll try harder. She was almost too upset to speak.

Hugo continued, "Rory, I know that you're a great writer, I've seen you do some amazing work, but if I am being honest, as an editor and your boss, what you have been writing the last few weeks is stale and rather boring."

"I'm so sorry, I'll try to do better, I've just," she stopped knowing that giving her boss excuses was not the way to go, especially since she was on the verge of tears. "I'll try harder. Thank you for letting me know Hugo."

"You're welcome, Rory. I look forward to seeing what you give me next. Have a good day," he said as he ended the call.

She sat there, her eyes swimming with tears that were beginning to trail down her cheeks. She was lost and confused and needed her mom. She quickly dialed Lorelai's cell number, hoping she wasn't too busy at the inn to talk to her. She answered on the third ring and Rory broke out in loud sobs when she heard her mother's voice. "Rory? Baby? Are you okay?" Lorelai asked panicked when she heard crying on the other of the line.

"No," Rory chocked out, "everything's wrong, it's all falling apart."

"Ohh, sweetie, it'll be okay, just tell Mommy what's wrong."

Rory recounted the last few days, starting with the phone call she had just had with Hugo and ending with the ongoing fight she was having with Jess. "Oh, Sweets. I'm so sorry. Here I told you he was just trying to be nice to you and then he does that. Next time I see that little weasel, I'll kill him."

"Mom, it's not that big of a deal, and besides, I am way more worried about my job right now, than a stupid fight with Jess. How am I going to improve my writing, when what I am covering is so monotonous?"

"I don't know, but I am sure you'll think of something. You're an amazing writer, just don't forget that." Rory sniffed and Lorelai could tell she had made her daughter smile, "you'll get through this, I wish I was there, but know that I am with you in spirit."

"I wish you were here too, thanks for listening, I gotta go; I have to work really hard on this article."

"I'll let you go then, just remember that you are awesome and I love you, and call me back if you need to vent again. Bye Sweetie." Rory bid her mother good-bye and turned off her phone. She wanted to be completely undistracted while she wrote her current article. She was going to make Hugo remember why he had offered her the job in the first place. She wasn't going to stop until she had a killer article.


	10. I Just Don't Want it to Hurt Anymore

**A/N I cried when I wrote this chapter, my family laughed at me, I hope the rest of you are moved by this like I was. Sorry it's late, I got sick. The next chapter will be late too. But hopefully these are worth the wait.**

**I own nothing**

Jess was in the middle of organizing the shelves in the store when he felt hid phone vibrate in his pocket, again. This was the fourth time it had rung in the last couple of hours. He was hung over, in a bad mood and had work that needed to be done; the last thing he wanted was to talk to anyone. Unless it was Rory, he needed to talk to Rory. He should have looked at the display on the phone before answering, he realized as he was met by the angry voice of his uncle.

"What the _Hell_ is wrong with you?" Luke yelled. Jess, having no idea what he was talking about, didn't respond before Luke continued. "You really think Rory needs to deal with all your crap right now?" Jess squeezed the bridge of his nose to stave off the headache that had been building since he got out of bed. Luke continued to read him the riot act as Jess quietly listened and made his way to the office for a bottle of water, and something for his head. "Huh, Jess, do you have an explanation as to why you would do something to make that girl call her other in tears this afternoon?"

"I didn't mean for it to happen," was all Jess could say, he had just called to talk and things had gotten completely out of control, very quickly, he explained to his irate uncle, who he knew cared for that girl like she was his daughter, and also had to deal with the brunt of her mother's anger as well. "I tried calling her last night. I almost left a voicemail, but didn't know what to say. I figured she might call me back today when she wasn't busy." Jess shrugged nonchalantly, he knew that Rory needed time to cool off and re-gather her pride after a fight.

"And if she doesn't call? Jess what were you thinking? Lorelai and I are getting married in three weeks and things would run better if the Maid of Honor and Best Man didn't hate each other."

"I'll call her." Jess submitted to his uncle's anger.

"Fix it, Jess," Luke growled, before ending the call. Jess resigned himself to knowing he was going to have to make the first step to mending what had happened between him and Rory. He decided that verbal communication was never his strong point so he went to her publications website and looked up her e-mail address. He could always say things better when he wrote them.

_Rory,_

_ I know things went badly last night. I didn't mean to get that angry. I know it's not an excuse but I am in the process of quitting smoking, and it's not going amazingly well. So needless to say I've been on edge lately, and probably was a little quick to get angry._ _I don't just want to apologize for last night though. I have so much to apologize for. I'm really kind of a crappy person and never deserved someone like you. But once I had you it was kind of hard to let go (which is kind of ironic considering why things ended in the first place)._

_ I've grown up a lot in the last few years; I don't know why I thought you wouldn't, except that you seem like you were born grown up. I need to let you grow up too, even if that means I don't love the person you become. I can't expect you to be the girl I fell in love with when I was 17 anymore, because I'm not the same person you fell in love with, for better or for worse._

_ That being said we have to be able to co-exist, our family may not be one that is going to be super cuddly and close, but we are going to be important parts in a wedding for two people we both care deeply about. I want this wedding to be great for Luke and I know you want the same for Lorelai. Being able to be in that same room without screaming at each other would probably is a great first step._

_ All the best,_

_ Jess_

He pressed the send button before he had a chance to rethink anything he had just written. Holding on to Rory, even just in his memories had been hard, but letting go had been harder than he could have ever imagined. He felt like a giant hole had taken up residence in his chest, and it was making it hard to breathe.

She finished her article and submitted it to Hugo with a smile. She had gone a different direction this time, more of an opinion piece than she had been writing, but he had told her that what she was writing was stale. She felt like some of the weight that had been crushing her had been lifted. The rest of it; the loneliness and missing her mother and friends, and the issue with Jess still hung there, but they didn't seem as daunting. She couldn't do much about the first thing, but she knew how to deal with the second and made her way over to her bed to make the phone call that needed to be made. "Rory?" She heard Jess ask astonished on the other end of the line.

"Hey, I just needed to say that I'm sorry for last night. I don't know why I got so upset. Can you forgive me?"

"I'm guessing you didn't get my e-mail," Jess said.

Rory scrambled back over to the small table with her laptop on it, "no why" she asked trying to buy herself some time to read it. She opened it and got to the part about him not deserving her before she heard him say,

"You're reading it now, aren't you?"

"Hmm?' She said with a small lump in her throat. "Wasn't I supposed to?" She asked, regaining her voice.

"Not while I was listening on the phone," he heard her sniffle, "Rory, are you crying?"

"Oh, Jess, you're not a crappy person."

"Ror," he whispered, it pulled at her heartstrings. He parents were the only other people to ever call her that. It was like a special sentiment for people that were deeply embedded in her heart and she couldn't deny that Jess was one of them. "Please say something."

"I never…I just…are you really giving up on me?" She stuttered.

"What," he asked not quite sure what she meant.

"You said we have to be able to co-exist. Is that all you want is for us to be able to be in the same room and be able to perform the most basic polite exchanges?" She asked trying to hold it together. It seemed all she did was cry lately.

"No, but, uhh," he grunted frustrated, "I just don't want it to hurt anymore."

Rory sobbed loudly upon hearing that and tried to wipe away the few tears that were racing down her cheeks, not that Jess could see her. He asked her what she wanted. "I don't know," she responded definitely, but defeated. She wanted things to be easy again, like when she was 15 and all that mattered was school. She was an adult now and couldn't always be easy, and truthfully though things with Jess had never been easy, they had been some of the happiest in her life.

**So I work in a school and write while I am at work, which is why the language and such is pretty mild. I tried to get enough written before break to keep up my schedule of Friday posting, but if I get behind that is why. Thanks for reading.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, between getting sick and vacation I got a little behind. When I got back to work on Monday I had to refresh myself with my story. The good news is that the time off, plus getting the box set for Christmas(thanks to my wonderful husband) I know where I want this story to go, and I have ideas for others. I don't know however how much longer it will take to get to the end, these characters seem to have minds of their own.**

**I do not own.**

Chapter 11- Several Powerful Blows to the Head

"Can we-can we start over?" Jess asked quietly after a few minutes of silence. After Rory's very clear declaration of confusion he could tell she was agonizing over how to continue, and the pain it was causing him was driving him mad.

Rory snorted at how ludicrous that question was, and gave an equally crazy answer. "I don't think we could start over even if we both suffered several powerful blows to the head."

Jess chuckled softly, "true and I didn't mean all the way over, I have way too many memories of you that I never want to forget." He said as he remembered the warmth of her lips on his on a cold day. "And, I'd b probably revert back to my teen hoodlum ways without your influence. I just meant back to when you left Philly earlier this week.

"Okay." Rory replied.

"Okay?" Jess questioned, worried he hadn't understood what she was saying.

"Yeah, that sounds good." She said and quickly moved the conversation forward. "So, you quit smoking, huh? Congratulations."

"I wouldn't congratulate me just yet. I still fight every day."

"How long has it been?"

"I quit six months ago; I've slipped up and had two cigarettes since then. But the last one was about 10 weeks ago."

"Jess that's great, I'm so proud of you. I know that that is super hard to do."

"Well I guess with that kind of encouragement I better keep going, huh?" He knew he would, anytime Rory believed he could do something, he started to believe it too.

As if she read his mind she said, "don't just do it for me, Jess. You obviously didn't do it for me in the first place." Rory was leaned back against her pillows. She had changed into sweats before calling Hugo earlier and was happy that she could relax comfortably while she talked to Jess.

"I know, but things seem to stick better with your encouragement." Jess smiled. They were finally having a friendly conversation. He knew it wouldn't last, if they were going to have any sort of relationship they were going to have to have some pretty serious conversations, ones that had recently lead to fights. But for now he was content to let things roll the way they were, at least until the wedding. "I've been reading your blog." He said, going for another easy topic.

"Really," she asked surprised that he would take the time to find her tiny publication and subscribe to it.

"Yeah, it's pretty good." He smiled, knowing that she was probably doing the same.

"You want to call my editor and tell him that?" She paused but didn't give him to ask a question before continuing, telling him about the conversation she had just had with Hugo.

"He obviously knows, like me and anyone who has read your stuff that you're a great writer, but you're being given awful subject matter and I'm sure he knows how lucky he is to have the former editor of the _Yale Daily News _on his staff."

"I hope so. I tried to mix it up today. Have you read it yet?"

"No, I don't think its up yet. I usually get a notification when it's posted.''

"Look at you, embracing technology. Now you just need to convince your uncle that cell phones are not evil." She said breathy, holding back laughter.

"Well, I am a business owner. Even though I deal in the written word, I still have to correspond through e-mail and phone calls."

"Luke is a business owner too." Rory responded, indignantly.

"He owns a diner, in a town that is reminiscent of a Norman Rockwell painting, and he is just a stubborn old grump," Jess laughed before he finished, "sometimes I feel like like he's 70 years old already."

Rory laughed too. "Speaking of your love of the written word, can I expect a new book from you soon?"

"Ahh, see, the great reporter is always right there within you. Is this off the record, Miss Gilmore?" Jess joked.

"Oh, absolutely, my desire to know is completely self serving, because I too, Mr. Mariano, am a bibliophile."

"Don't I Know it. But the answer, for a friend," he hedged, "is that I have no idea. I've been writing, but I wouldn't say anything book worthy."

"I don't need a whole book, a novella, a collection of short stories, some sonnets, perhaps."

"Bite your tongue," he said making her giggle, "you know my thoughts about poetry."

"And poets," she interrupted.

"Seriously though, I would love to just sit down at my laptop and write all the time, but it's the editing and publishing other peoples work that pays the bills." He sighed, "the woes of responsible adulthood."

"Don't I know it. If I had my choice, I would be writing about books and movies and music and anything else I wanted; not tax cuts and universal healthcare. Not that I really have any bills though, I live in hotel rooms and on buses. Really the only thing I have to spend money on is food."

"That must require at least a six figure income for a Gilmore." Said Jess, knowing the amount of food the two Lorelai's could eat.

"Touche." Quipped Rory as her stomach rumbled. "On that note, I need to find something to eat, and get coffee that doesn't come from a vending machine."

"Okay. This was good," Jess said hesitantly.

"Yeah it was. I'm glad. Bye Jess."

"Bye Rory."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N My writing process is starting to slow down, for multiple reasons, writers block, longer chapters and being extraordinarily busy at work. That said I will try to keep my schedule, I already have next weeks chapter typed and the one after that written, so hopefully in the next two weeks I'll be able to type it. I also realized that I am going to have to write a sequel for this story or its going to be hundreds of chapters long. **

Chapter 12- The Journalistic Equivalent of a Deadhead

J: Never saw your article yesterday.

Rory saw Jess's text message the next morning during Obama's speech. She had checked yesterday evening for it, since she was proud of it, wondering if it had earned her any new readers, she found it strange that it wasn't up yet and called Hugo. What she found out had annoyed her and she wasn't in a good mood now. She decided she would call Jess as soon as the rally was over. For the first time recently she thought talking to him would improve her mood instead of worsen it.

As soon as the gathering was over, Rory quickly left the park the event was being held at and made her way across the street to her hotel, already calling Jess. She was just entering the lobby when he answered. "He didn't publish it," were the first words out of her mouth. She got onto the elevator and told him they may lose connection, but her room was only on the fourth floor. She stepped out as soon as the doors opened and told Jess what had happened to her story. "He said he isn't paying me to write Op-Ed pieces, and therefore wouldn't publish it." Jess heard muffled sounds form her end of the line as she kicked off her heels upon entering the room and dumped her bag down onto her bed. "So, needless to say I am on an even shorter leash than I was before."

"That sucks, all your subscribers will be upset not having something to read today."

"All five of you?"

"Five?"

"You, Mom, Dad, Grandpa, who would never be reading about a democratic candidate if it weren't because he loves me so much, and Andrew, who gets it so the town can read it."

"I'm sure you have a ton of readers, Rory. I personally would have loved to see your Op-Ed piece, it was probably better than the other stories you've been writing lately." She admonished him for his insult and he added, "I didn't mean that as an insult, but unless you are really into politics or Barack Obama, it's just too much of the same thing. But I don't know what you are supposed to do about that."

"Well today was a debate, so at least I get to have a little more variety than usual." She sighed heavily and Jess asked if she was okay. "I just don't know how much longer I can do this. I have no real home, I miss my friends and family and my books. I'm bored when I am not working and I am getting to a point where I loathe this job." She hadn't meant to unload all that on him, but it felt good to have someone to vent to other than her mother who she had been venting to her entire life.

"I'm sorry, that sounds horrible." Jess hesitated before adding, "But honestly, Rory, maybe this isn't the job for you." He could hear the anger in her gasp and was able to finish his statement before she exploded. "I don't mean writing. You're a great writer, everyone knows that. I just meant this job specifically. You're great when you write hard hitting stuff and feature articles. Right now you are the journalistic equivalent of a Deadhead, and that's not you, you deserve to do something better."

"This is the only job I could get." Rory said ruefully. Everything Jess was saying was correct, and it just made her more depressed.

"That was almost a year ago, when you were fresh out of college. Now you have professional experience in addition to your great school credentials. Anyone who saw your portfolio would be stupid no to hire you."

"Thank you Jess, I'm not sure I believe you, but thanks for trying to cheer me up."

"Ehh," he said bashfully," that's what I'm here for."

Rory chuckled softly' knowing that what she said had embarrassed him. "Hey, at least it's Friday." She said changing the subject. "And I get to go home for the twins first birthday next weekend, the bachelorette party the weekend after that and then the wedding the week after that. So at least I have something to look forward to."

"You're going home next weekend?" Jess asked, the excitement clear in his voice.

"Yeah, Steve and Kwan are turning one, and I am super excited to see Lane. Why? Are you going to be in Stars Hollow?"

"I hadn't planned on it, but I guess if someone wanted me to go I could show up." He was clearly digging, trying to get her to invite him and prove that she wanted to see him.

"I bet Doula would love it if her big brother took her to her best friend's birthday party." Rory would have pouted and batted her eyelashes, playing his game, if this weren't just a phone conversation.

"Doula is friends with Lane's kids?"

"Well, more with Kwan than with Steve, I understand the play dates can be quite lopsided, unless Sookie's kids are there."

"It's a tempting proposition, but it does require me to talk to, and then see, Liz. Jess shuddered at the thought of spending time with his mother or worse, her husband.

"I thought you and Liz were better," questioned Rory.

"Liz and I will always have problems. I just try to decide when to sacrifice my mental and physical, considering my need for a cigarette around her, health. I have to have a worthwhile cause to go to that crazy place." Jess was trying to get her to ask him outright, because he knew as well as she did that if she wanted him to do something, even something as insufferable as deal with TJ or Taylor Doose, he would.

"Well it would be great if you could come." Rory told him. They ended their conversation soon after with a promise to call at least every other day.

The thought of having Jess back in her life on such a consistent basis excited Rory. Jess knew that this was his chance to prove to her how much he had changed over the last few years, and that he would call her when he said he would. This was his second chance, finally and he wasn't going to blow it.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N I always forget to make my author's notes when I post so I never get to thank you all for all your support. It's so wonderful to go to my e-mail and see a new follow or favorite, sometimes even a review. It really does excite being said, I was really let down after the last chapter only getting one review. I understand all of you who don't review, I read stories on this site for months and never reviewed until I worte my own story and realized how inspirational it is to know that people like what you are doing.  
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**I do not own Gilmore Girls**

Chapter 13- Making Henry Miller Blush

The weekend passed too quickly for Rory's liking, going back on the road had never been as unappealing as it was that day. She drug herself through her morning routine and onto the bus just before it pulled away from the hotel. They had been traveling for an hour when she decided that she needed a distraction. She pulled out her phone and texted Jess.

R: Entertain me

J: What?

His response was almost immediate.

R: I'm on the bus. I'm bored and the few books I have with me are below the bus in the luggage compartment.

J: Why didn't you keep one, or five, in your bag?

R: Because I have read them all multiple times in the last month and I won't be able to trade them out until this weekend, so I need something to keep me from stabbing myself in the eye with my pen.

J: Who knew you could rant in a text message?

R: Jess?

J: I'm at work, Rory

R: In a bookstore, with beautiful, lovely books! There has to be something interesting happening.

J: It's raining. People are getting the books wet and the store smells like wet dog.

R: That's it?

J: Sorry, it's a slow day.

R: Rainy days would make me want to be cuddled up in the corner of a bookstore.

J: As adorable as that sounds _(reading that caused Rory to blush)_ not everybody functions like you and me.

R: I need coffee

J: Don't you always? Where are you?

R: I'm not sure. Iowa? Michigan? Somewhere flat and Midwestern.

J: Are there no bookstores in the Midwest?

R: I'm sure there are.

J: So can't you buy a new book?

R: If I buy new books all the time I am going to have to get rid of clothes, which would cause me to have to go to work naked, and I think that would be frowned upon.

J: But at least it would increase your readership, I know I'd totally join, if I wasn't already a member.

R: Jess!

J: What? It's true.

His next message came a few minutes later.

J: Rory naked, cuddled up in a bookstore, now that's a good image to carry around all day.

J: I gotta get back to work.

Rory blushed deeply and hid her phone quickly. She was on a bus full of reporters, who did not need to know what her ex-boyfriend had just said to her. That night when she was snuggled safely in her bed she sent Jess a little message of her own, hoping to make him squirm. He read the message and muttered a shocked, "whoa," before quickly calling Rory.

"Hello?" Rory asked trying to sound innocent and unaffected.

"_What _was that?"

"Oh, what are you the only one who's allowed to tease?" She had adopted a more flirty tone to, hopefully, cover the nervousness in her voice, all the while thinking, "_are we really doing this?"_

"No," Jess sounded flustered and she had to admit she liked knowing she could do that to him. "I just never thought I would hear something like that come out of the mouth of Rory Gilmore."

"Well, you didn't," she teased.

"Okay, fine, the mind of Rory Gilmore," he conceded. His heart rate finally slowed after it had accelerated due to reading her sexually charged words.

"I'm pretty proud of that, I didn't even have to use Henry Miller this time."

"Oh, you do this often?" Jess asked, genuinely curious and a little afraid to think of his beautiful, innocent Rory out there sending dirty texts to multiple people.

"Only a few times," she hesitated, before adding, "While Logan was in London." The silence on the line told Rory she was right to want to leave that last bit out. "I'm sorry, that was stupid of me to say."

"No, it's okay Rory. You were in a relationship with him, I understand that. It's just hard to get used to the idea that you aren't that girl anymore."

She wasn't quite sure how to take that, did he not want her anymore because she had been with someone else? The idea of that was appalling to her and made him a hypocrite.

"It's just, I can't believe I'm really going to say this to you," he exhaled loudly before continuing, "You don't know how many times I fantasized about you whispering things like that into my ear when we were together. I never wanted to think that you would say anything like that to someone else."

"Jess," Rory said softly, this conversation had changed directions and become much more serious. " I- I wanted it to be you." He raised his eyebrows in question, though she had no idea of the gesture and continued. "I had even told my mom." She laughed lightly, imagining Jess absorbing the news of her and Lorelai talking about sex. "I told her I was pretty sure I was ready, and you were the one, and then everything got so messed up. I tried to pretend like I was okay and I didn't care that you were gone. I was going to start completely fresh in college. Then one day it was like I was 17 again, both you and Dean showed up at the same time. I acted like I didn't love you, I told you I didn't want to be with you, but it was all a lie. I was still mad at you for the way you told me you loved me, and I was confused about how I felt, and you wanted an answer, I was just so overwhelmed. And the look on your face when you left, it was as if I had ripped out your heart. I cried," she was crying now and not even trying to cover it up as she sniffled and hiccuped. "I cried for hours, because I knew I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. I was never going to see you again. I was still in love with you and I threw it all away because I was angry." She stopped, wondering if he was still on the line, she heard his breath catch, ever so slightly, and wondered if he was crying too. Thinking that she had made him, Jess "screw the world and everything in it" Mariano, cry made her feel worse. "Then I made a huge mistake, a mistake I still regret today. I-I slept with Dean."

"Yeah you mentioned that the other day." Jess wasn't sure he wanted to continue this conversation; it was getting harder to keep himself together, knowing how upset she was. He was also getting angry; at himself, Dean, Logan, even Henry Miller. "How did, uh, how did that happen exactly?"

"He wasn't happy in his marriage, and we had been spending a lot of time together, since he was helping build the Dragonfly. I was not in a great place emotionally either, Yale was not going the way I expected it to go. I had this stupid idea that if I were to get back together with Dean, then I could go back in time and make different choices. It would help me with school and it would seem like my relationship with you never happened and make the hurt and sadness go away, but it didn't. It made everything worse. It ended his marriage. It caused a huge rift between me and my mom. We tried to date after that, and it was bad. He dumped me in front of a party my grandparents threw me and we never spoke again." She finished with a deep shaky breath.

"Wow," Jess tried to take in everything she had just said. He never realized how much him coming back to Connecticut had messed with her; but for her to have slept with a married man, even dean, she had to have been…lost, if he had to pick a word. He knew she was messed up when he visited her in Hartford, that was a given, but this told him she had not been okay for much longer, maybe even since he left. He couldn't help but feel somewhat responsible for all of this. He wished he could punch himself. He wanted to punch everyone who had ever hurt her; Dean, Logan, but especially himself. She was still sniffling softly, probably waiting for him to say something. He didn't really have a lot of words. "God, Ror that was intense."

"I know, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to dump all that on you."

"It's okay, you don't need to apologize to me. I didn't realize how long you had been off though."

"I don't think I knew for a long time either."

"So," Jess didn't want to ask the question he was about to ask, " you and Logan? How did that start? I know I only met him once, but he didn't seem like your type."

"I guess I just wanted something different." She sighed. "I had done the relationship thing, pretty constantly for almost four years and it didn't go well. So when I asked him why he flirted with me all the time but never asked me out, he told me was more into casual sex, and I decided I would try it."

"How did that turn into a relationship though, because he seemed pretty possessive of you."

"A few months of hooking up made me realize I am indeed a relationship girl."

"Duh," he whispered, and quickly apologized when he realized she had heard.

She continued her story. "He told me that he could be a boyfriend. I had tried something new with him, so he could try something new with me. It was hard for the first year or so, but after his accident, when he almost died, something in him changed. As soon as he was healthy though, his did sent him to work at their London office, and the rest of our relationship was pretty much long distance. Looking back, that's probably why it worked." She was no longer crying. It seemed talking about her relationship with Logan hurt less than talking about her relationship with Jess.

They had reached a standstill in the conversation. Rory had lain the last five years of her life out in front of them. Other than apologizing again, Jess really didn't know what to say.

"I'm exhausted, it's been a long day and I really need to get to bed." Rory stated lamely.

"Sure, get some rest."

We'll talk tomorrow?" The last word came out as more of a question than a statement.

"Yeah, I'll call you." Hearing Rory's dissatisfied sigh on the other end of the line, Jess added, "I've gotten better at the whole calling when I say I will thing."

"Good," responded Rory with a smile," goodnight Jess." Rory was just about to end the call when she heard him softly say her name.

She made a small noise of acknowledgement before he added, "thanks."

"For what?"

"Letting me in," he said, almost too softly for her to hear, "bye Rory." The line went dead. Rory placed her phone on the small table next to the bed and went to sleep.

Jess, upon ending the call, pulled out his laptop and began typing, not stopping until the sun came up, signaling hi obligation to return to the bookstore for what was sure to be a long day.

**Wow! That ended up being a really long chapter. Quick question though, I feel like Rory has cried or at least gotten upset in every chapter, do you think that is OOC or that because she is under a lot of stress and away from her family that it's believable for her to be a moody mess. Let me know. Thanks! **


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